Sunday, June 24, 2012

Just don't be an ass ok?

I'm not sure I feel like being funny today. This morning a friend of mine posted on her facebook about spending the evening in my area at a "festivalish" type of activity and how a friend of hers  (from another country) spent the evening being made fun of and being made to feel uncomfortable because of her dancing and outfit and well...whatever.

That sucks and it makes me mad.

I don't know what she was wearing or if she dances like Elaine from Seinfeld or whatever, because I wasn't there, but what I do know.. is that I don't CARE, and neither should anyone else. If she was having a good time, and living life and enjoying herself, why was it fun or entertainment for other people to mock or be critical of her in any way? I'm glad she was dancing and having fun, life is short and it's for living.

People... we aren't 4 anymore. It wasn't cool when we were 4 but at least at that age it was... understandable. It wasn't at any age after that... and today, that's what I want to talk about.

I think part of the reason society has some of the issues it does is because bullying was tolerated when we were kids. 3/4 of the moms on the PTA having a hissy fit now were bullies in school themselves and don't even remember or acknowledge it to themselves. You know them. The PTA moms that spend half their lives looking down on the other parents. I'm not talking about the ones who are there because they legitimately want to do nice things for their kids, I'm talking about the ones who spend the whole time trying to make themselves look good at the expense of someone else... all while talking out the other side of their mouth about bullying. They are some of the ones that used to make fun of the other girls while smiling to your face. You know who they are.

Bullying is wrong. It doesn't matter if you are 5 or 9 or 15 or 45 or any age in between. It makes you a bully and it's not ok.  Ask kids today, they'll tell you that it still happens, but it's sneakier now, and there does seem to be less overt nastiness pervading the school. It's still there though I promise. Walk into any 7th grade gym locker room and listen for 2 minutes.

Want to know what I've realized? That the kids that were jerks then simply grew up to be assholes. They were taught by teachers and other adults that their behavior was ok. Their parents used to chalk it up to kids being kids and teachers acted like it was survival of the fittest.
I'm glad it's changed.
Listen to your kids... listen to see if they're talking about being made fun of andone of help them learn coping skills if they are. PUSH to get it changed. Listen to see if your child is one of the ones destined to grow up to be an asshole. If they are DO something about it.

Fun shouldn't come at someone else's expense, ever. That's not fun, that's abuse and it's about time society realized it. Other cultures don't do this the way we do, I blame privledge. Remember, just because someone thinks you are loser doesn't mean you are, just because you think someone is a loser doesn't mean they are. People are people.  It's about time we all realized that and it starts when they are kids, but as an adult we owe it to our kids, we owe it to each other, hell we owe it to ourselves to remember to not be assholes.


  1. I was one of the kids who was made fun of all through school and unfortunately I didn't have the self esteem to overcome it till I was about - oh, somewhere between 50 & 55. Now that I have found "me", life is good :)
    Parents who are bullies tend to raise more bullies and heaven forbid anyone should try to "fix" the problem because somehow it will turn out to be your or your kid's fault.
    Ok, I'm done. I'll get off my soapbox now.
    Bye Bye

    1. I spend a lot of time on my soapbox Mo. It makes me taller :D

  2. Hi Kelly! Found you at Thoughts From Paris and again on Craziness Abounds. I love your blog title. You know, I have found that life is but a mere continuation of the BS of High School and I'm hoping that people wise up and grow up, but I'm not holding my breath. That's why I'm often blue. You are absolutely spot on about this. You can get on your soapbox any time you want!